I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
"You're really hot, I wanna hit on you like the plane hit the Twin Towers."
I confessed to my crush in preschool. Unfortunately, she rejected me. I just carried on and got right back to teaching.
I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.
If you know, you know. 😏😏
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
Roses are red,
romance is dead,
every day I suffer from existential dread.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
Me: Truth or dare?
Crush: Dare.
Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.
Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.
Me: Ok, what is your phone number?
I heard you were looking for a stud...
I already have the STD; all I need is you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?