Romance jokes

The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.

Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.

I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.

I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

I dated a furry once.

The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.

There are 206 bones in my body.

When I look at you, it becomes 207.

Is that a mirror in your pocket?

'Cause I can see myself in your pants.

Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.

I confessed to my crush in preschool. Unfortunately, she rejected me. I just carried on and got right back to teaching.

Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)

I like my women like a day: 24 year olds. 24 hours of fun.

Say, Aiden, are you and Gwen dating? Oooo, you and her sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G., then comes the romance, then comes engagement, then comes the wedding, and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Then comes cheating and arguments, and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aiden + Gwen = Husband and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!

Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.

Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.

He placed the chocolates and the flowers down beside her.

Silence...

And then at last she spoke...

"Unexpected item in the bagging area."

Roses are red,

romance is dead,

every day I suffer from existential dread.

Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.

Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.

Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.

The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."