Rock jokes

Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."

Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?

Rock and Roll.

What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?

They are both hard.

Why is Jesus in pieces?

Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.

What did The Rock say to his dad?

"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.

A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”

When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.

What's the favorite song of an Emo?

"Chain Hang Low."

Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?

Because he's always calling shotgun.

The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.

They called the song “Helen Keller.”

What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?

A bolder choice.

Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?

Because he's too high.

Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!

If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.

If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.

Are you twinning today? Because The Rock would be shocked!

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

What did one Geodude say to the other Geodude?

Let’s rock!