Rock jokes

"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."

"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all

Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock

when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"

Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?

Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?

Rock and Roll.

Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

What did The Rock say to his dad?

"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"

Why is Jesus in pieces?

Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.

What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?

They are both hard.

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.

When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.

Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?

Because he's always calling shotgun.

What's the favorite song of an Emo?

"Chain Hang Low."

Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?

Because he's too high.

The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.

They called the song “Helen Keller.”

I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.

Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!

If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.

If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

Are you twinning today? Because The Rock would be shocked!

Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?

It rocked!