Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."
What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?
They are both hard.
What did The Rock say to his dad?
"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.
When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.
What's the favorite song of an Emo?
"Chain Hang Low."
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
What’s an emo's favorite singer?
Slash.
"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."
I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.
Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?
It rocked!
Are you twinning today? Because The Rock would be shocked!
Jack and Jill wanted some pills.
So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.
What did one Geodude say to the other Geodude?
Let’s rock!
Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.
This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉
I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song “Helen Keller.”
