a man died with an erection. the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying “i’m on my period.” the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she’s done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i’m good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion
When I hired a asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:
Mr. Wong- I see he so I climb up tree, he knock on door and she let in he, she talks to he, he talks to she, he undress she, she undress he, she play with he, he play with she, I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see… No fee.
Why do emo people want to be called scene now, the only thing I’ve scene from them is there suicide rate climbing
I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said; “Well, that’s a little condescending.”
me:gives her 5 dollars climb that flag pole cute female:takes the money and goes up the flag pole is this good me:hell yeah thats a nice veiw next day heres 10 dollars if u do it again she goes up there me:hows the veiw she goes home and her mom sees the money her mom:where u getting this money her daughter:i climbed a flagpole her mom:you know he just want u to to see ur panties right she goes back and does it again but doesnt wear panties me:holy shit ;-; her mom:did u do it again her daughter:dont worry mom he didnt get to see my panties her mom:…
I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and i thought, huh, that’s a little con-descending
why are cheetahs the best animals? The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour. A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds. Cheetahs are extremely fast however they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue. Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms. One way to always recognise a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances. Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs. While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day. A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away. Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision. With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight. Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom. One tourist falls down. The tourist that’s still on the mountain says"You ok down there?" The other tourist says"Can’t i just rest in peace?!"
Why could the kid go rock wall climbing?
Because, every time he moved his leg upward his prospetic leg fell off