Rock jokes
Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside; 'round the outside, 'round the outside.
Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside; 'round the outside, 'round the outside.
Guess who's back? Back again. Shady's back. Tell a friend. Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back...
I've created a monster, 'cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more. They want Shady, I'm chopped liver. Well, if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya: A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor. Some vodka that'll jump-start my heart quicker than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital by the doctor when I'm not cooperating, when I'm rocking the table while he's operating (hey!!). You waited this long, now stop debating, 'cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating. I know that you got a job, Ms. Cheney, but your husband's heart problem's complicating. So the FCC won't let me be, or let me be me, so let me see. They try to shut me down on MTV, but it feels so empty without me. So, come on and dip, rum on your lips. Fuck that, cum on your lips, and some on your tits. And get ready, 'cause this shit's about to get heavy. I just settled all my lawsuits. FUCK YOU, DEBBIE!
Now this looks like a job for me. So everybody, just follow me. 'Cause we need a little controversy, 'cause it feels so empty without me. I said this looks like a job for me. So everybody, just follow me. 'Cause we need a little controversy, 'cause it feels so empty without me.
Little hellions, kids feeling rebellious, embarrassed their parents still listen to Elvis. They start feeling like prisoners, helpless, 'til someone comes along on a mission and yells, "BITCH!!!"
A visionary, a vision of scary, could start a revolution, polluting the airwaves. A rebel, so just let me revel and bask in the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass. And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe for you to see so damn much of my ass. You asked for me? Well, I'm back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Fix your damn antenna, tune it in, and then I'm gonna enter in, in the front of your skin, like a splinter. The center of attention, back for the winter. I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling. Investing in your kids' ears and nesting. Testing, attention, please. Feel the tension, as soon as someone mentions me. Here's my ten cents; my two cents is free. A nuisance. Who sent? You sent for me?
Now this looks like a job for me. So everybody, just follow me. 'Cause we need a little controversy, 'cause it feels so empty without me. I said this looks like a job for me. So everybody, just follow me. 'Cause we need a little controversy, 'cause it feels so empty without me.
A-tisket, a-tasket, I go tit for tat with anybody who's talking this shit, that shit. Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards. And Moby? You can get stomped by Obie. You thirty-six-year-old bald-headed fag, blow me. You don't know me, you're too old. Let go. It's over; nobody listens to techno. Now let's go; just give me the signal. I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults. I've been dope, suspenseful with a pencil, ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol. But sometimes the shit just seems everybody only wants to discuss me. So this must mean I'm disgusting. But it's just me; I'm just obscene. No, I'm not the first king of controversy. I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley to do black music so selfishly and used it to get myself wealthy. (Hey!!) There's a concept that works. Twenty million other white rappers emerge, but no matter how many fish in the sea, it'll be so empty without me.
Now this looks like a job for me. So everybody, just follow me. 'Cause we need a little controversy, 'cause it feels so empty without me. I said this looks like a job for me. So everybody, just follow me. 'Cause we need a little controversy, 'cause it feels so empty without me.
"Chem-hie-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la."
Kids!
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.
His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!
I would call Slade dense, but that would be an insult to rocks.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song “Helen Keller.”
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
Yo mama so fat when The Rock hit her with a Rock Bottom, her big fat ass belly let all the pizza explode out of her belly!
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.
Every time my cousin and I, we settle it out with our game, so we play rock paper scissors. 😂🤣🤣
The Yo Mama song to end all yo mama jokes.
If you know what song this is parodying, you get a cookie.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo mama so fat, she gotta bathe in Sea World.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so slow she took 9 months to get the joke.
Your own motheeer makes me giggle.
Her struggling to do taaaasks, see her belly wiggle.
HEY!
Yo mama so fat she on both sides o’the family.
Yo mama so inbred her own fam’ly tree
Looks like a spider web an’ yo mama so hairy
I thought it was King Kong I saw, that bitch is scary.
Yo mama so dumb a kid said “gimme a fag”
And in response she kidnapped Ricardo in a giant bag.
Yo mama so blind, she drove through puppies in a blunder
I swear I almost thought the driver was Stevie Wonder.
Yo mama so old, she’s nostalgic for the big bang.
Drier than Sahara, that crusty old thang.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo Mama so fat her picture still printing out.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so ugly I thought you had two dads.
MMMMMMM
ahhhhhh
ohhhohoh
Your own motheeer, your own motheeeeer’s pussy is tight.
It’s not too dryyy or weeet it’s just right.
Hey Mama!
I fucked her so hard, the bitch done passed out
but not before I creamed all over her and shout
“I’M FUCKING THESE MOMS ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN!
Don’t care if she’s 20 or 77!
I’m doing all the moms all over the worl’
Even if they weren’t ‘riginally born a girl.
A pussy’s a pussy no matter who its from
Don’t care if that woman is smart or dumb!”
That’s the truth there, baby! Even if
yo mama too stupid to tell apart her own kid
or if she’s so fugly, she’s the reason why
Helen Keller, poor soul, went deaf and blind.
I want to fuck every MILF on Earth
it don’t matter how much her ass is worth
or if she’s so poor, coal on Christmas is a treasure
Would I fuck her anyway? It would be my pleasure.
My body count so high can’t nobody top me
She said, “I’ll call you Freddie Mercury cause I want you to rock me.”
I said, “aiight bet! Can’t nobody stop me!”
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
But yo mama still so poor Africans donate to her!
What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.