Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?
It rocked!
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
I want your cock in my rock bottom.
yo mama so fat and emo we call her the rock and roll
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
I like my marriages like I like my whiskey: on the rocks.
Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
Deals is bully, right? Denise, like a bully type of rock, is a piggy.
what did one emo say to another emo... rock it out
what did we hit i don't know a rock
What did Eve say to Adam?
"That is rock hard."
Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
