Rock jokes
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
I want your cock in my rock bottom.
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
Yo mama so fat and emo, we call her the rock and roll.
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.
"What did we hit?"
"I don't know, a rock."
Deals is bully, right? Denise, like a bully type of rock, is a piggy.
What did one emo say to another emo... "Rock it out!"
What did Eve say to Adam?
"That is rock hard."
Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"