Rock jokes

I like my marriages like I like my whiskey: on the rocks.

What did Eve say to Adam?

"That is rock hard."

When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"

"What did we hit?"

"I don't know, a rock."

Deals is bully, right? Denise, like a bully type of rock, is a piggy.

What did one emo say to another emo... "Rock it out!"

Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.

My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.

Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!

Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.

Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.

Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).

Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.

Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.

Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.

Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.

MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.

LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.

Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.

Did you hear about the band Manhole? I hear they're a metal cover.

Nickelback.

What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?

Geo dude.

What is 14 inches long and starts with D?

A Dookie From GREEN DAY

I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.

I keep going back and forth on them.

In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!

If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."

Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.

What's got 9 arms and sucks?

Def Leppard.

I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.

The Rock, more like the Rockpot! 😂😂😂😂😂