Rock jokes
"What did we hit?"
"I don't know, a rock."
Deals is bully, right? Denise, like a bully type of rock, is a piggy.
What did one emo say to another emo... "Rock it out!"
I like my marriages like I like my whiskey: on the rocks.
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
Family be like:
Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.
What did Eve say to Adam?
"That is rock hard."
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
Did you hear about the band Manhole? I hear they're a metal cover.
Nickelback.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.
I keep going back and forth on them.
In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!
What is 14 inches long and starts with D?
A Dookie From GREEN DAY
What's got 9 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard.
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.
The Rock, more like the Rockpot! 😂😂😂😂😂