Rock jokes

What’s big, red, and eats rocks?

A big, red, rock eater.

The Yo Mama song to end all yo mama jokes.

If you know what song this is parodying, you get a cookie.

Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

Ohhh, Yo Mama.

oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!

Yo mama so fat, she gotta bathe in Sea World.

Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

Ohhhh, YO MAMA!

Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!

Yo mama so slow she took 9 months to get the joke.

Your own motheeer makes me giggle.

Her struggling to do taaaasks, see her belly wiggle.

HEY!

Yo mama so fat she on both sides o’the family.

Yo mama so inbred her own fam’ly tree

Looks like a spider web an’ yo mama so hairy

I thought it was King Kong I saw, that bitch is scary.

Yo mama so dumb a kid said “gimme a fag”

And in response she kidnapped Ricardo in a giant bag.

Yo mama so blind, she drove through puppies in a blunder

I swear I almost thought the driver was Stevie Wonder.

Yo mama so old, she’s nostalgic for the big bang.

Drier than Sahara, that crusty old thang.

Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

Ohhh, Yo Mama.

oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!

Yo Mama so fat her picture still printing out.

Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

Ohhhh, YO MAMA!

Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!

Yo mama so ugly I thought you had two dads.

MMMMMMM

ahhhhhh

ohhhohoh

Your own motheeer, your own motheeeeer’s pussy is tight.

It’s not too dryyy or weeet it’s just right.

Hey Mama!

I fucked her so hard, the bitch done passed out

but not before I creamed all over her and shout

“I’M FUCKING THESE MOMS ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN!

Don’t care if she’s 20 or 77!

I’m doing all the moms all over the worl’

Even if they weren’t ‘riginally born a girl.

A pussy’s a pussy no matter who its from

Don’t care if that woman is smart or dumb!”

That’s the truth there, baby! Even if

yo mama too stupid to tell apart her own kid

or if she’s so fugly, she’s the reason why

Helen Keller, poor soul, went deaf and blind.

I want to fuck every MILF on Earth

it don’t matter how much her ass is worth

or if she’s so poor, coal on Christmas is a treasure

Would I fuck her anyway? It would be my pleasure.

My body count so high can’t nobody top me

She said, “I’ll call you Freddie Mercury cause I want you to rock me.”

I said, “aiight bet! Can’t nobody stop me!”

Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.

Ohhh, Yo Mama.

oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!

But yo mama still so poor Africans donate to her!

Hi, I'm stupid!

My wife found a rock and asked if it was expensive, and I said it "leavarite". She said, "Is that expensive?" and I told her, "Leave it right there."

What can a rock possibly say?

Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.

What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?

A rock can break a glass ceiling.

What rock has four men that don't sing?

One Direction.

Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom

Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom

Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom

You know we straight with doin' your mom

Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom

Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom

Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom

You know we straight with doin' your mom

I’m doin' your mom. Yes yours!

I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin' out your drawers.

Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen

But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom-jeans.

I approached her in the checkout line, and said yo baby wassup?

She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.

Five minutes later she agreed to get with me

So we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.

I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart.

I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn’t start.

She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.

How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!

Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it.

She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it.

Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young

To be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.

Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom

Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom

Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom

You know we straight with doin' your mom

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.

So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.

So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.

Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me, so we went and rocked the minivan like, "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!"

Rock-a-bye dummy, in the tree top.

When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.

Down will come dummy, cradle and all.

Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?

Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.

Student: Ok!!

Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?

Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.

Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.

Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.

Why couldn't the kid go rock wall climbing?

Because every time he moved his leg upward, his prosthetic leg fell off.

My marriage was on the rocks, so I buried my wife under some.

I hear coal mining is a rock-bottom job.

If you're bored, hump Danny and fuck him. What is he, goons do fuck rock?

What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?

You can't fuck a rock.

What do you call a un-funny rock?

A normal rock.

Student: What's the best thing in the world?

Teacher: I don't know what.

Student: Hard rock cock.

My dick is hard as a rock, anyone wanna fuck?