Roast jokes

Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.

You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy.

I was thinking about you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.

There's something on your chin... no, the 3rd one.

Your hairline goes back to when Adam and Eve were born.

If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.

1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.

What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.

My life is so sad it's because you're in it.

You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?

One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.

Bully: "I would roast you but my mom told me not to burn trash."

Me: "So that's why you haven't burnt yourself yet." 🤔

When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.

The direction I'm looking.

I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.

I would roast you but burning trash is bad for the environment.

You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.

My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.

You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.

Joe mama so fat, hello kitty said goodbye.