Roast jokes
Crush: "How much do you love me?"
Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."
Crush: "But it's morning."
Me: "Exactly."
You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.
I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.
You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.
When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.
The direction I'm looking.
Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.
Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
Me: You stupid. Guy: You straight. Me: Sorry, I'm not a mirror.
Me: Your ugly...
Person: I'm not your mirror...
Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p
You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy.
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
Your hairline goes back to when Adam and Eve were born.
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Your forehead is so big you could roast meat on it.
You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.