How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
You're so ugly that even Hello Kitty said goodbye.
My life is so sad it's because you're in it.
Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"
Me: "Nope."
Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."
Me: "You never said \"love\"".
Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"
Me: "Frick no."
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.
Girl: How much do you love me?
Me: Count the stars in the sky.
Girl: Aww, it's infinite!
Me: No, just a waste of time.
When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."