Roast jokes

You have gaps in your teeth, looks like your tongue is in jail.

Bully: I wasn't talking to you.

Me: Then why are you listening?

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

My hair strainer is hotter than you.

Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"

Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.

Earth is full. Go home!

You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.

The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)

Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.

Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

You're so ugly that even Hello Kitty said goodbye.

Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.

You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.

When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.

The direction I'm looking.

1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!

2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!

3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!

4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!

If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!

Are these good?

You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!

Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.

You're built like a double cheeseburger.