Roast jokes
Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.
Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
There's something on your chin... no, the 3rd one.
Comebacks when someone say: Bully: "Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic." Say: "At least its brighter than your future."
Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Roses are red, violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there with you, But not in the cage, but laughing at you.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.
You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy.
The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.
Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
Me: You stupid. Guy: You straight. Me: Sorry, I'm not a mirror.
My hair strainer is hotter than you.
Yo mamma so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
Were you born on a highway? Because most accidents happen on the highway.
Me: Your ugly...
Person: I'm not your mirror...
Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p
Why is America better than Japan at rapping?
Because we're better at dropping bombs.
I was gonna roast you about your chin, but I didn't know which one to talk about.
Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"
Me: "Nope."
Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."
Me: "You never said \"love\"".
Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"
Me: "Frick no."