Roast jokes

If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.

I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.

Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.

You: Well... your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you can't even do that.

And your IQ is 5.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,

"What part of the dog did you get?"

Your birth certificate is a complaint to the condom factory.

Bully: "You are so stupid!"

Classmate: does nothing.

Bully: "Oi, I'm talking to you!"

Classmate: "Oh, you're talking to me? I thought you were talking to yourself."

You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?

Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.

You have gaps in your teeth, looks like your tongue is in jail.

What is the difference between a nerd and leafyishere?

One is fun to laugh at, bully, and roast, and the other is just a nerd.

You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!

Joe mama so fat, hello kitty said goodbye.

Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.

Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.

Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.

My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.

You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.