Roast jokes
If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.
I wanna die.
Bro, whenever I look at you, Fortnite gets popular again.
Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?
Teacher: Why were you late?
Me: Traffic.
Teacher: Did I did it?
Me: Did I even blame it on you?
You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.
I'd mop the floor with your face, but you might just mess it up more.
What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?
A receding hairline.
You like bread toasted? That means you're roasted.
You're so ugly not even your mom thinks you're beautiful.
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.
Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.
You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
"Go frick a cow!"
"I already fricked your mother."
"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race