Roast jokes

Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

I wanna die.

Bro, whenever I look at you, Fortnite gets popular again.

Teacher: Why were you late?

Me: Traffic.

Teacher: Did I did it?

Me: Did I even blame it on you?

Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?

I'd mop the floor with your face, but you might just mess it up more.

You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.

What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?

A receding hairline.

You're so ugly not even your mom thinks you're beautiful.

You like bread toasted? That means you're roasted.

You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.

Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.

Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.

What's the difference between a boomerang and your dad?

Boomerangs come back.

"Go frick a cow!"

"I already fricked your mother."

"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race

You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.

I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.