Roast jokes
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.
When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.
The direction I'm looking.
Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.
Bro, whenever I look at you, Fortnite gets popular again.
Trevor is a bitch.
Teacher: Why were you late?
Me: Traffic.
Teacher: Did I did it?
Me: Did I even blame it on you?
I was thinking about you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?
Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!
Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.
Me: Mom, we made a cake.
Bully: Guess what?
Me: What?
Bully: Nobody cares!
Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!
Your teeth are sponsored by gap.
Your mama so slow, she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Me: Do you know a funny joke?
Friend: Yes, you.
Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.
Be careful around fire, plastic melts.