Roast jokes
Me and your mom in the bed.
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.
Me: Are you an alien?
Friend: No.
Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.
Earth is full. Go home!
My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.
Girl: How much do you love me?
Me: Count the stars in the sky.
Girl: Aww, it's infinite!
Me: No, just a waste of time.
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
Yo mama sooooooo fucking fat, when she takes a step, she needs a 5-min break.
Do you want to hear a joke?
You.
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
You look like the 0.01 percent of bacteria the Lysol didn't kill.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.
If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?
I would roast you, but I'm not supposed to burn trash.
Your hairline goes back to when Adam and Eve were born.
you look like a dumb crab. When everyone sees you, the world will end.