Road jokes
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Why did the otter cross the road?
To get to the otter side.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the bitch house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: Why?
Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.
Someone asked me where to find de wae?
I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To die.
How do you know if a comedian is high?
Comedian: Why did the wings cross the road? To get to chicken.
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
Why did the van cross the road?
To get to the school for the little kids.
Why wasn’t the duck afraid to cross the road? Because he wasn’t chicken!
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.