Road jokes
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To run away from the Pakistani.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
Why can’t dinosaurs cross the road?
Because they’re dead.
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he wanted to.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Because he rolled over to the other side!
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
Were you born on the side of the highway because that’s where all mistakes happen?
How did Princess Diana cross the road?
Through the windshield!
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It didn't; it got stuck in a crack.
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!
Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.
The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
It didn't have the guts to do it.