Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It just felt like it.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
Why did the cat cross the road?
To die.