Road jokes
Why do y’all call a pickup truck?
'Cause ya got a flat tire.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
Why did the Canadian cross the road?
To say sorry to the other side.
So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).
Why did the octopus cross the road?
Who knows and who cares?
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he was stapled to the punk rocker.
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
Why did Jake cross the road? To get a Hagen Daz bar.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
Why did the Down syndrome person cross the road? Because there was a zebra crossing!