Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
Revenge Jokes
The orphan asked a genie to become Batman. Then he went home and saw his parents dead.
If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?
They laughed at my drawing, so I laughed at their chalk outline.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
Some dude called me a tool.
So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
Guess he was right :/
I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.
Dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
When my girlfriend broke up with me, I took her wheelchair. I always knew she would come crawling back.
My doctor called me a "psychopath." How dare he?!? He'll pay for this!
A kid named Billy gets his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money, and his wallet taken by his father.
The father then gets all the money taken from him by the bully’s grandfather along with his own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by Billy along with his own wallet.
As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.
Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."
Karma is like rape.
What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.
Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!
So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.