Revenge jokes

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.

Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?

They cry...

They scream... with joy.

"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."

Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...

A note for my History Teacher:

Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.

My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!

What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.

My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.

When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.

Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.

Me: "What are you doing??"

Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"

Me: "I don't know."

Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"

Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"

Don't bully kids.

My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.

My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.

I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.

But I can break yours today, hopefully.

What did the lion say to the lion tamer? Nothing, because when the lion tamer whipped the lion, the lion killed him.

Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.

She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.

My dad smashed my PS5, so I smashed his wife.

Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.

Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.