Revenge jokes

So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!

I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.

That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?

Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1! #justice

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"

I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.

But I can break yours today, hopefully.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.

Does your cat scratch you?

Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.

She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!

I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.

My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏

So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.

But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."

So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.

This was the best day of my life.

This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.

So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."

Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."

And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."

I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜

If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”

My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.

She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.

Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't get even.

On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.