Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1! #justice
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
my girlfreind dumped me; so i stole her wheelcar and guess hwo came crawl back
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏
So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.
But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."
So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.
This was the best day of my life.
This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.
So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."
Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."
And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."
I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't get even.
She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.
Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.
Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.
My ex misses me, but her aim is getting better.
You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."
Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
POV: You're at school and you just enjoy your day.
Now once you found a bully and he said, "I will burn you in fire," then you just punched him out of the school and got detention. You escaped and walked home, but the bully came and ROASTED you. He threw you in the garbage, but you took off his clothes and even his underwear. You escape the bin and took a shower and had a good day after.
