A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
Karma is like rape.
What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.
They laughed at my drawing so I laughed at their chalk outline 😈
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
Zu are playing as Ukraine in Military tycoon and then someone kills you, you see who killed you in nuke revenge and it says Putinmoserfucer2342
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
My dad smashed my PS5, so I smashed his wife.
bin laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1 #justice
My wife cheated on me with my brother.
She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.
So, my girlfriend left me. I took her wheelchair, and she came back crawling.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”
Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
