Retail jokes

A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."

Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?

Alfred: Why?

Me: because I'm worthless... =)

My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.

“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”

I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.

Found out I’m worth $3.97.

What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?

Little boys' pants half off.

Once you’ve seen a shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.

Michael Jackson was recently sighted at Target. Why? The sale was all boys' pants half off!

What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?

Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.

Why did Michael Jackson rush to Walmart?

He heard boys' pants were half off!