Retail

Retail jokes

An old woman walks into an outdoor supplies store.

"I'd like an infrared gorilla," she says.

The clerk proceeds to give her an infrared gorilla from the back room.

"We've had hundreds of these things in the back for ages," exclaims the clerk. "You're the first person who's actually wanted one."

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”

People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!

I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!

A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."

Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."

A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.

Cashier: Is this your final purchase?

Customer: Actually, yes it is!

I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off. I didn't know back to school sales were already starting.

Why can’t orphans build anything?

Because they can’t go to Home Depot.

eBay is so useless.

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.