Retail jokes
The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.
Yo momma is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?
HomeGoods ;)
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for buns!
Why can't orphans go to Costco?
Because it's a family shop.
"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
Ebay is so useless. I tried searching up lighters, and all they had was 13,749 matches.
Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?
At a second-hand store.
When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.
I first saw her in the Walmart picking out your drawers.
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
Police seek clues to explain Walmart.
Walmart (DYM 73).
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
Your forehead’s so big it got sponsored by GAP.
Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?
Because they don't like Dick's!
eBay is so useless.
I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.