Retail jokes

What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?

HomeGoods ;)

Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for buns!

When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

I first saw her in the Walmart picking out your drawers.

Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?

At a second-hand store.

Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.

Why can't orphans go to Costco?

Because it's a family shop.

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

Ebay is so useless. I tried searching up lighters, and all they had was 13,749 matches.

"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race

Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.

Your forehead’s so big it got sponsored by GAP.

eBay is so useless.

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

Stephen Hawking, rest in PC World.

How does Stephen Hawking get clean?

He uses Tesco car wash.

ASDA.

I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."

I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.

I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.

Police seek clues to explain Walmart.