Retail jokes

What's an Indian's favorite store?

Red Dot.

I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.

A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.

Cashier: Is this your final purchase?

Customer: Actually, yes it is!

Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!

I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.

Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for buns!

Me: The man sleeped in a $200 bed in His hole life so why dose he need a $2,000 coffin?

My friend: They're cheaper at Costco.

Me: Oh shit, you're going to have "fun" this weekend.

Where did Stephen Hawking spend most of his spare time?...

Currys PC World.

eBay is so useless.

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.

One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,

"We will give you a replacement!"

I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"

Where do orphans get their stuff from?

The reject shop.

I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.

Yo mama so stupid, she asks for the restroom on Amazon.

There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?

Home Depot.

Where do orphans shop? Home Depot.

What store is the most public?

Publix!

Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. $12.99 from Ikea.

So, about a year ago I was riding a horse, and out of nowhere the horse tried to flip me off it and I fell off. I would have been OK, but my foot got stuck in the stirrup. The horse dragged me along and didn't stop.

I would have died if it weren't for the Walmart manager who came out and unplugged the horse.

Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!