Retail jokes

Don’t fart in an Apple Store.

It has no Windows.

A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off. He looks at his son and says, "I didn't know back to school sales started yet."

Where do walls shop?--Walmart.

Once you’ve seen a shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

Why can’t orphans build anything?

Because they can’t go to Home Depot.

I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."

Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?

I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”

The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.

A shop assistant is helping a little boy who can't find his mum in the supermarket.

He asks the boy, "What's she like?"

The boy says, "Big Cocks and vodka!"

You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.

A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.

Orphans would be upset if they went to FamilyMart.

'Cause they sell oden, not a family.

When do you go to the store?

UVUALA!!!!!

This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.

An old woman walks into an outdoor supplies store.

"I'd like an infrared gorilla," she says.

The clerk proceeds to give her an infrared gorilla from the back room.

"We've had hundreds of these things in the back for ages," exclaims the clerk. "You're the first person who's actually wanted one."

Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.

If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, would he go to hospital or Curry's PC World?

What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?

Dollar a pop!

Get it?