Retail jokes
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."
Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."
This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?
Answer: Forever 21.
Memes
Why do midgets work at Tesco?
Because every little helps.
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
Why do dwarfs work at Tesco?
Because every little helps!
Why don't you fart in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have any Windows.
I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off. I didn't know back to school sales were already starting.
Why did Michael Jackson rush to H&M?
They had new Billie Jeans!
Why was Michael Jackson at Kmart?
He heard they had little boys' pants 1/2 off.
When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"
Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”