Retail jokes
Where do T. Rexes shop? Dino-stores.
What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."
What's an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. $12.99 from Ikea.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
Where do orphans shop for home appliances?
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.
Why does Michael Jackson like to shop at Walmart?
Little boys' pants are half off!
Why did Michael Jackson rush over to K-Mart one morning?
Because he heard little boys' pants were half off!
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
Michael Jackson was recently sighted at Target. Why? The sale was all boys' pants half off!
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
What do you call a stupid mannequin?
A dummy.
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
Once you’ve seen a shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?
Boy's pants are half off.
Why did the emo go to the store?
To buy bleach.
Why don't orphans go to Family Dollar? They don't have a family to go with 'em.
Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.
One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,
"We will give you a replacement!"