Retail jokes
What's an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?
Cause it’s a family business.
Where do T. Rexes shop? Dino-stores.
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."
Memes
Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. $12.99 from Ikea.
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.
Why does Michael Jackson like to shop at Walmart?
Little boys' pants are half off!
Why did Michael Jackson rush over to K-Mart one morning?
Because he heard little boys' pants were half off!
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
Michael Jackson was recently sighted at Target. Why? The sale was all boys' pants half off!
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
Yo mama so dumb that when she went to Starbucks, she thought she could buy a star.
What was Juice WRLD's favorite store?
Forever 21.
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
Once you’ve seen a shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?
Boy's pants are half off.
Why don't orphans go to Family Dollar? They don't have a family to go with 'em.