Retail jokes
What do you call a stupid mannequin?
A dummy.
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
Why did the emo go to the store?
To buy bleach.
Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.
One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,
"We will give you a replacement!"
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
Memes
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
Scan my wrist for 75% off!
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was "remarkable."
In Israel, they don't have Walmarts; they only have Targets.
Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
What's an Indian's favorite store?
Red Dot.