Retail jokes
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
Yo mama so dumb that when she went to Starbucks, she thought she could buy a star.
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!
What was Juice WRLD's favorite store?
Forever 21.
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
Scan my wrist for 75% off!
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
With the sentence "Die in hell," you can buy shoes in Germany.
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.
Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was "remarkable."
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have little boy's pants 1⁄2 off...