Retail

Retail jokes

Monkey

Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.

One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,

"We will give you a replacement!"

Suicide

A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.

Cashier: Is this your final purchase?

Customer: Actually, yes it is!

Gun store

I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!

Dwarf

Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?

Because every little bit helps!

Orphan

Why are orphans not allowed in stores?

Because else they would actually feel at home.

Yo mama

Yo mama so dumb that when she went to Starbucks, she thought she could buy a star.

Butt

Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!

Wrist

What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?

Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.

Priest

Do you know where priests go at night?

To all night sale at Boys R Us.

Backpack

I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.

He one day said his business was "remarkable."

Discount

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!