Retail jokes
What do you call a stupid mannequin?
A dummy.
Once you’ve seen a shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
Why did the emo go to the store?
To buy bleach.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
Why don't orphans go to Family Dollar? They don't have a family to go with 'em.
Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.
One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,
"We will give you a replacement!"
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
Scan my wrist for 75% off!
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
With the sentence "Die in hell," you can buy shoes in Germany.
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.
In Israel, they don't have Walmarts; they only have Targets.
Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was "remarkable."
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.