A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
Retail Jokes
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
What was Juice WRLD's favorite store?
Forever 21.
Yo mama so dumb that when she went to Starbucks, she thought she could buy a star.
Scan my wrist for 75% off!
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
Michael Jackson was recently sighted at Target. Why? The sale was all boys' pants half off!
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.
Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was "remarkable."
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
What's an Indian's favorite store?
Red Dot.
I like dicks... sporting goods.
