Retail jokes
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
What do you call a stupid mannequin?
A dummy.
Why did the emo go to the store?
To buy bleach.
Once you’ve seen a shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?
Boy's pants are half off.
Memes
Why don't orphans go to Family Dollar? They don't have a family to go with 'em.
Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.
One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,
"We will give you a replacement!"
With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
Scan my wrist for 75% off!
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.
In Israel, they don't have Walmarts; they only have Targets.
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was "remarkable."
Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
What's an Indian's favorite store?
Red Dot.