Restaurant jokes
A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.
What type of pizza do they serve on an airplane?
Plane pizza.
One day, I'm going to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tell the waitress I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want a piece. She says, "Go to the toilet." I say, "You don't understand. I want a piece on my plate." She says, "You better not piss on your plate, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!!
Later, I go to eat at the big restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fork. I tell her I wanted a fork. She tells me everyone wanna fuck. I say, "You don't understand, I want a fork on my table." She says, "You better not fuck on the table, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!
So, I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him I want a sheet. He tells me, go to the toilet. I say, "You don't understand, I want a sheet on my bed." He says, "You better not shit on my bed, you son of a bitch."
I go to the checkout, and the man at the desk says, 'Peace on you.' I say, 'Piss on you too, you son of a bitch. I'm going back to Italia. Arrivederci!'
I don't need this shit!
Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent.
Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!
Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!
Israel is so fat, when he goes to KFC and they ask what size bucket he wants, he says, "The one on the roof!"😂
Want to hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
What is BK but gay?
Bgay.
An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.
Where do the Borg eat fast food?
Borger King.
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:
Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.
What is long and the line is black?
The line at KFC.
What do you call a Krispy Kreme Donut combined with a Big Mac from McDonalds?
A Krispy Kreme Mac.
I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!
Let me tell you a joke about pizza!
Never mind...
It's too cheesy.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.