Restaurant jokes
What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."
Why can the orphan only go to restaurants?
Because they can't have homemade meals.
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.
One was a salted peanut.
Did you hear about the new emo pizza? It cuts itself.
Why did the chicken cross the road to Popeyes Chicken?
It wanted to pop some chicken eyes...
Yo mama's so fat, she thinks the buffet is the starter plate.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."
An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.
"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
What did Ronnie have at Taco Bell?
A mind-blowing bean burrito.
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
Juice WRLD farts smell like McDonalds.
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
What's long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.