So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."
An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.
"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
What did Ronnie have at Taco Bell?
A mind-blowing bean burrito.
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
Juice WRLD farts smell like McDonalds.
Why can’t orthons eat at a family restaurant? Because then don’t have a mom or dad
What's long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.
Bunger.
Recently I visited a restaurant in Crotone. When I was done eating, I told the waitress I was “Penaldo” with my food. She instantly knew that I was finished with my food.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but it came plain.
What’s black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
Do you like Wendy's? When deez nutz are in your mouth.
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
Chimichanga.
