Restaurant jokes
Hi, welcome to Mario's pizzeria/abortion clinic.
Where no fetus can beat us, and your loss is our sauce.
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
What do you call a pickle sandwich?
A Big Mac!
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.
Welcome to Joe's pizza, you make 'em, we bake 'em.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to go to KFC.
I like...
Wendy's.
"Wendeez nuts in your mouth."
Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.
Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.
Why did the orphan not get service at the restaurant?
Because it was a family restaurant!
I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?
Clucky!
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
Why can't emos work at a restaurant? Because they cut too much.
Vegan Teacher the musical.
Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"
Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶
Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵
Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵
Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"
- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.
What kind of fish do people eat?
Deep-fried fish.