Reproduction jokes
When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"
What is black and white and red all over?
An interracial abortion.
I thought it would be fun to become a shooter. It became less fun when I realized that "shooting a woman up" also included a condom.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
How do planets have a baby?
They have spasex.
What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
The best part of you ran down your mother's leg... Einstein got ready to climax while doing math but realized you can't cumtilyain cumtilion. It's after sucktillion fucktillion.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.
Jokers are all about the delivery.
Except abortion jokes...
Saying balls go into pussy.
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
Why do they call it abortion? Because they aborted the mission.
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A: Kittens.