Reproduction jokes
How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.
A dog meets a cat. The cat is black and the dog is white. They have sex on site, no cap.
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
My abortion.
Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?
It was homesick.
How can a man make the world safer?
By having the chop.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched her thigh and said, "Do you wanna?" Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and they had some fun.
But silly Jill forgot her pills, and so they had a son.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Eggs don’t cum.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, Had some fun. She forgot her pill, And now we have Jonny!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch some pail of water.
Jack came down, and then Jill came tumbling after, so they had a baby...
Dear uncle, I want my condoms.
Why did the goat have an abortion?
Because she already had too many kids!
What camel has 3 humps?
...A pregnant one.
What bees make milk?
Boob bees.
What did Sophie Brussaux's baby get every week?
A face full of sperm.
Why did the beans fuck the mum to make bouncing beans?
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion?
A. May your baby rest in pieces.
I thought it would be fun to become a shooter. It became less fun when I realized that "shooting a woman up" also included a condom.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger!