Reproduction jokes
What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion.
Why do they call it abortion? Because they aborted the mission.
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.
It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!
Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"
So, I was fucking my daughter the other night, and I don't know what was funnier, the look on my wife's face, or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her.
Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?
Because of his short cummings.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.
Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.
What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
Why do squirrels love dick?
Because it produces nut.
Some sperm arrive in the uterus and see that the egg is already fertilized. They complain that they lost the race and have nothing to do but die.
One speaks up and says he isn't angry, and the others ask why.
"He thought he was going to be alive," the sperm says. "This chick works at an abortion clinic."
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.
Sex is like math.
Subtract the clothes, add the bed, divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, Had some fun. She forgot her pill, And now we have Jonny!
I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"
Abortion is beautiful. I wish we could all be aborted.
Just cum.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Uder the sheets.
Under the sheeeets. Me and your mother making your brother.
Under the sheets. Do do do do dododoodoooddododoodo.
SEX KIDS FUCKING VIRGINS