Reproduction jokes
My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.
Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
What’s red, slimy, and makes my wife scream? Two failed abortions!
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What camel has 3 humps?
...A pregnant one.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
To fuck the chicken.
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.
It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!
If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?
You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.
Why did the little kid cry? His dad forgot to pull out.
My abortion.
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
So, I was fucking my daughter the other night, and I don't know what was funnier, the look on my wife's face, or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her.