Religion jokes
Where does a banana learn to split?
At sundae school!
What is humble, holy, and helps?
An angle...
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
What pizza 🍕 do you order for Christmas?
Cheeses Crust!
we must sacrifice barbie
The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.
He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.
Jesus was the one who created the T pose, not Fortnite.
Why did Jesus play football?
He was Spanish, ayo.
I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.
What's something you can say in church and while having sex?
I come in the name of the Lord.
Why won't an atheist convert to the religion of Islam? Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be a Muslim according to the Arabic religion of Islam.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
Why is Christianity the most dramatic religion?
Because other religions say, "Do, do, do."
But Christianity says, "Done, done, done!"
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."
Why did he die?
Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.
Christianity.