Christianity.
Religion Jokes
Why did he die?
Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
I met a man named Jebidiah on Xbox Live.
What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?
They fight and... You know the rest.
Why do I call my priest daddy?
Because he raped my mom when she was 13. She's 27 now.
Why is a nun called a nun?
'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?
Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
What's the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile? There isn't a difference.
What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?
The priest stopped him on the way there.
Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day, and Eve says to Adam, "Let's go for a swim." Adam replies, "I'm not in the mood."
She says, "Okay, I will go by myself." She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says, "The water is beautiful, come in!" Adam replies, "Na, still not in the mood."
Eve wades into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says, "Oh no, now all the fish are gonna smell like that!"
Why do Catholic Irishmen in Ireland have a glory hole in the men's restroom inside their restaurants so they can give Irish kisses on Saint Patrick's Day?
Why are people mad at me? All I did was tell the truth and put the Bible in the fiction section of the library.
If I looked like Stephen Hawking, I would also be an atheist.
Little Jonny Bad Ass was sitting on a porch one day, and a preacher was in the house. Little Jonny Bad Ass had to use the bathroom, so he bangs on the door saying, "Mom, I have to use the bathroom!" His mom says wait. So Little Jonny Bad Ass saw a hat on the step. He looks around, pulls his pants down, and shits in the hat.
A few later, the preacher comes out and says, "I see you have my hat!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Yeah, I caught the world's fastest bird!" The preacher says, "Well, let me see him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "No, I don't know." Well, the preacher says, "I'll put my hands by the hat, you lift, and I'll catch him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapped his hands, and Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Now see the bird don't shit," and ran.
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
Thank the Lord for my two huge balls!
