Religion jokes

When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.

It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.

A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."

Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?

They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"

Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."

Why did he die?

Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.

Why is Christianity the most dramatic religion?

Because other religions say, "Do, do, do."

But Christianity says, "Done, done, done!"

How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?

Both of them.

What did the priest say to the Muslim? Wazza!

I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"

I said, "Making holy water."

She said, "How are you making holy water?"

I'm boiling the hell out of it.

A true God would be godless himself.

What did God say to the black person?

"Oops, I burned one."😳

Not racist, just funny.

How do you kill a Hindu? PRESS THE RED BUTTON.

Why did the priest buy a clown suit?

Because the old one had blood all over it.

An American walks into an Afghan bar. Joke, Afghanistan doesn't have bars because of the Taliban.

A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.

Part 1

Why is Biden a priest?

So kids call him father.

God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.

Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."

A child molester and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

Why do orphans want to die?

Because they might see their parents in Heaven.