Religion jokes
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
Why did Michael Jackson like having little boys round him? He was studying for the priesthood.
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."
The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."
Taig
When Mother Teresa went to heaven, she was greeted by Saint Peter with a halo for her dedication to the needy. After walking around for a while, she saw Lady Diana with a bigger halo. She got angry at Lady Diana and went to Saint Peter and asked him why she had a bigger one, and Saint Peter said, "Oh, that’s not a halo, that’s a steering wheel."
What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.
God: (creating elephants) Make it big.
Angel: How big?
God: As big as my d--
Angel: Whoa!
God: Fine, 10 feet tall.
Angel: That's big bu--
God: Put a long thing on its face.
Bust it open for Jesus!
I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Your mama is so old, her first Christmas, she was a Wiseman's +1.
What's similar between a priest and McDonald's?
They both shove their meat in between 10 year old buns.
I think that church is boring.
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?" God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.