Religion jokes

A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.

Part 1

Why is Biden a priest?

So kids call him father.

God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.

Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."

A child molester and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

Why do orphans want to die?

Because they might see their parents in Heaven.

Yo hairline so far back, it goes back to Jesus on the cross!

What is the true meaning of Christmas?

Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.

A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.

Why did the orphan go to church?

To finally call someone father. 😂😂

In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.

And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"

What do you call a reverse exorcism?

It's where a demon pulls a priest out of a child.

If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.

Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.

Christianity.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?

Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

You wanna know why Stephen Hawking isn't going to heaven?

Because it's a stairway, not a ramp.

Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?

They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"

I met a man named Jebidiah on Xbox Live.

What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?

They fight and... You know the rest.