Religion jokes
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.
A true God would be godless himself.
How do you kill a Hindu? PRESS THE RED BUTTON.
I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Making holy water."
She said, "How are you making holy water?"
I'm boiling the hell out of it.
What did the priest say to the Muslim? Wazza!
And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."
Why did he die?
Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.
Christianity.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
I met a man named Jebidiah on Xbox Live.
What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?
They fight and... You know the rest.
Why is a nun called a nun?
'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)
Why do I call my priest daddy?
Because he raped my mom when she was 13. She's 27 now.
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?
Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.
What's the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.