Religion jokes
Yo hairline so far back, it goes back to Jesus on the cross!
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To finally call someone father. 😂😂
In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.
Memes
And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"
What do you call a reverse exorcism?
It's where a demon pulls a priest out of a child.
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
Christianity.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
You wanna know why Stephen Hawking isn't going to heaven?
Because it's a stairway, not a ramp.
I met a man named Jebidiah on Xbox Live.
What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?
They fight and... You know the rest.
Why do I call my priest daddy?
Because he raped my mom when she was 13. She's 27 now.
Why is a nun called a nun?
'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?
Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
What's the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.
Bible Verse of The Day - For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.
—Romans 8:15-16