Religion jokes
What do you get when you cross a lesbian that is a feminazi, a lesbian that is a progressive democrat, a promiscuous woman that is a lesbian prostitute working inside a lesbian brothel in San Francisco, California, and one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
For his sake, I hope that heaven is wheelchair accessible...
Why is that kid walking like that? Oh, he's an alter boy.
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?
He [is a] goy.
The New religion. Submit to Nevelah. The Carcass awaits you my friend.
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
What do you call a priest in a room full of naked boys?
A colonoscopy.
If you argued that God was a woman, 49.8% of the US population would try and raise Hell.
Just to ask the other guy.
Talk about a male supremacist religion.
What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.
God: “Steven, join us.”
*sees the staircase to heaven*
Steven: “Shit.”
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms.
In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
How do you make holy water?
You take it to church ⛪️
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: A nun falling down the stairs.
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
What's similar between McDonald's and priests?
They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Do you have a halo?
'Cause I can give it to you.
Did you hear about the gay choirboy?
He choked on his first hymn.