Religion jokes
The priest is gay.
The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.
My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?
Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D
Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?
Me: Call The Police Ka!!!
Miss Kadie, I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people.
Pastor: Welcome to the gay matters church.
Miss Kadie: Stop that, you know that God hates gay people.
Me: Stop that, vegan teacher.
Pastor: You deserve to die.
- I attack
You wanna hear a good joke, kiddos?
Gods being real. (Newsflash, all gods are manmade. THEY'RE ALL FICTION!)
Allahu Akbar---Jalal 2019 xD
What does Amogus and Jesus have in common?
They're sus.
A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.
When is a priest's best compromise?
A failed Baptism.
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
What is the difference between a priest and McDonald's? Nothing, they both stick their meat in between 12-year-old buns.
So the Devil decided to go to McDonald's and grab some lunch. What does he get?
A hot and spicy McChicken and three six-piece nuggets.
Jesus is what he eats!
Shit!
Why was Jesus not good at Basketball?
Because he died in the Cross 😈
What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?
A Catholic priest.
Did you know that...the only reason you don't call priests "daddy" is because that's what you call them in sex!
Your mommy.
Jesus has had all the time in the world and all the power in the world to do whatever he wanted.
Guess what he has to show for nothing, but putting us in hell!
Being an absolute waste breathe of life, and of power!
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
Joke time!
Now, Heaven or Hell?
Heaven: we got clouds.
Hell: we got a frickin' private yacht!
What do Christians and gays have in common?
They both say, “Oh God” when they get on their knees.