Religion jokes
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Orphans go to church to call someone father.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
Jesus is what he eats!
Shit!
Up into the sky so very far, here comes Dr. Seuss! "ALLAHU AKBAR", at the ripe old age of 97, he committed 9/11.
What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.
Yo mama is so fat and old, when Jesus said "Let there be Light!" he told your mama to move out of the way!
Jesus is gay, and God is transgender.
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?
Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.
The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"
Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"
Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.
What did God say when he made the Black human? Oh no, I burnt another one!
How do you make holy water?
You take normal water and boil the hell out of it.