What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
girl: daddy ive been a bad girl priest: for the last time its father I have sinned
what type of meat do priests eat on good friday? Nun
When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?
Father Les
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, "u would never believe what i discovered." intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun. "oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. " what did u do with them." said the first nun. pridefully the second nun responds with," i poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "oh sh*t...."
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent ? Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
What’s Christian and holey?
JFK
What happens when you throw an underaged boy between two catholic priests? They fight and... You know the rest.
What do Macdonalds and Priests both do? They both put their meat between 10 year old buns
The Drunk and a priest
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
Why can't orphans convert to Catholicism? Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.
