Religion jokes
Why are Muslims terrible at football?
Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.
Why did God make the devils die?
God is great!
Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.
Why did Aaron slit his wrists?
Because it's him.
[God creating Asians] “Alright, and the design is finished, see our new model, the Asian. It has no hair at all.”
Angel asks, “Does it eat normal food?”
God replies, “(chuckling) Oh no, not at all.”
Memes
my mexican mom be like
Why do Indian men prefer fat women?
Because they worship cows.
Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice.
Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
How can you tell if a white homophobic heterosexual man with bisexual tendencies is a Christian nationalist?
He gives anonymous blowjobs to men regardless of their sexual orientation.
Why can't orphans convert to Catholicism?
Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.
Why did Technoblade die?
Because God wished him dead for all the orphans he made fun of.
What is God’s favorite candy?
Jesus Pieces.
Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.
God better hope they got an elevator to Heaven.
What do you call a retarded Catholic?
Asperges.
How do you kill a Catholic?
Crucify them...
Why can Jesus walk on water?
Because rubbish floats.
What does Adam look like?
The fat ginger baby of Boss Baby.