Religion jokes
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
How do angels 😇 make holy water 💧?
They boil the hell out of it.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell, not heaven?
Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
What do a priest and Life have in common?
They both get harder when kids are around.
we must sacrifice barbie
Why can Jesus walk on water?
Because rubbish floats.
Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?
A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.
What's the difference between ICE and ISIS?
One of them says their prayers five times a day.
I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
Why don't you see black people with Down syndrome?
Because God doesn't punish someone twice.
Why did Spencer eat cheese?
Because he was Jewish.
Hey kids, are you ready for Faptisim?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Golly.
Golly who?
Godly leave me alone!
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both love naughty souls.
Allahu Akbar---Jalal 2019 xD
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."