Religion jokes
God better hope they got an elevator to Heaven.
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
What do you call a retarded Catholic?
Asperges.
Why can Jesus walk on water?
Because rubbish floats.
How do you kill a Catholic?
Crucify them...
I live in a world made of cheese. Someone stubbed their toe and screamed, "Cheese-its, Christ!"
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
What does Adam look like?
The fat ginger baby of Boss Baby.
Yo mama so old, she was Jesus' nanny! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?
A: Owwww!!!!!
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
What do you call the nun that hates?
For Paul Walker, Mother Teresa.
What did God say to the good shepherd?
Nothing.
Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe
I once put the Bible in the fiction section.
Why do orphans like going to church?
They can actually call someone "father."
Priests are priests.
What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?
They can both flash.