Religion jokes
When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are da bomb.
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
Yo momma so ugly, the Devil started going to church!
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
Memes
Why are you guys making fun of priests?
Because you have a suga daddy already.
What did God say when he created the first black person?
"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"
Twin monks who ring the church bells died.
Now they are dead ringers. :)
Why does the orphan go to church? He needs someone to call father.
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
Why did God create sex for marriage?
Because he wanted more people and less fun.
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
HELP! HELP!
TELL THE PRIEST TO STOP TICKLING ME!
Why do orphans go to church?
Why?
To finally call someone "father."
Why do orphans come to me?
'Cause they have someone to call "father."
Orphan: I finally have a father!
God: And who is that?
Orphan: You!
God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.
Orphan: :l
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!