
Religion jokes
Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because we were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin.
Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you!
Little Jonny Bad Ass was sitting on a porch one day, and a preacher was in the house. Little Jonny Bad Ass had to use the bathroom, so he bangs on the door saying, "Mom, I have to use the bathroom!" His mom says wait. So Little Jonny Bad Ass saw a hat on the step. He looks around, pulls his pants down, and shits in the hat.
A few later, the preacher comes out and says, "I see you have my hat!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Yeah, I caught the world's fastest bird!" The preacher says, "Well, let me see him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "No, I don't know." Well, the preacher says, "I'll put my hands by the hat, you lift, and I'll catch him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapped his hands, and Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Now see the bird don't shit," and ran.
This isn't a joke.
There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he could call someone Father.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Jesus got a revival
What did the priest say to the other priest during baptism?
"We better clean our sex toys before we play with them."
What do you call a retarded Catholic?
Asperges.
Jesus has a twisted humor.
kittens cute cuddly and loveable oh yeah, I almost forgot, add razors that stick out [of] their feet.
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
What do you call a nun on a bike?
Virgin Mobile.
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"
I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
Jesus is a rock music fan.
Because he likes Nine Inch Nails.
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture.
A true God would be godless himself.
Q: Why doesn’t Jimmy Swaggart worry about his premature ejaculation problem?
A: He believes in the second cumming.
Why do orphans love church?
They finally have a father.
Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.
