Religion jokes
Why is the elephant headed God the true God?
Because he doesn't exist!
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said God didn’t exist.
In 2018, God said Stephen Hawking didn’t exist. xx 😂😂
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
'cus there was only a stairway to heaven!
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.
And an exorcism.
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"
Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."
What's the difference between Christian theocrats and Islamic fundamentalists?
Presentation.
In England, for every church, there are two pubs.
In Poland, for every pub, there are two churches.
What is a Christian's favorite social networking site?
Faithbook!
Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?
Turkish.
Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.
I'm Pastor Moe Mister, Moe Lester.