Religion jokes

When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized in the ocean.

When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...

Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?

A: They both want Anthony's neck.

There are "nun" good jokes.

Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?

It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.

According to Christianity, Jesus is the son of a GODFATHER.

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning building.

Priest: What about the children, Rabbi?

Rabbi: Fuck the children!

Priest: Do we have time?

If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.

God being a sniper is so fun!

When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.

Do y'all love Jesus, God? 🙏❤️

Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?

Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.

What’s the difference between God and Hitler?

God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.

What do you call someone who is half a Jew?

Jew-ish.

How do you play chess with a Catholic?

You put a condom on the bishop.

What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?

"Let us pray."

My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.