If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.
The existence of the word "priest" implies the existence of "prier" and "pri".
I'm Pastor Moe Mister, Moe Lester.
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
What do you call a Muslim bee?
Habibee.
It wasn't Islam that radicalized the terrorists who did 9/11.
Jenga comes to mind, though!
Yo momma so ugly, the Devil started going to church!
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
What did God say when he created the first black person?
"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"
Why did God create sex for marriage?
Because he wanted more people and less fun.
Why are you guys making fun of priests?
Because you have a suga daddy already.
Why does the orphan go to church? He needs someone to call father.
Twin monks who ring the church bells died.
Now they are dead ringers. :)
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
HELP! HELP!
TELL THE PRIEST TO STOP TICKLING ME!
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
