Religion jokes
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both love naughty souls.
Allahu Akbar---Jalal 2019 xD
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.
What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?
SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.
Adam and Eve had sex. It was paradise.
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.
The orphans all died!!!
Oh wait, no one cares...
Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.
What do you call a bunch of Muslims in a bath?
A bath bomb.
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.
Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."
In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.
One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.