Religion jokes
All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
Your hairline is so far back it was back on before Jesus Christ was born.
I am starting a frog cult now!
Why do orphans go to church?
Because there they have a father.
The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.
The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.
Why did Jesus come back from the dead? He forgot to tell you that you're gay!
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!
I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.
Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔
Ganesha is an elephant.
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
A priest walked in and said to the kids,
"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized in the ocean.
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both want Anthony's neck.
There are "nun" good jokes.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Golly.
Golly who?
Godly leave me alone!