Religion jokes
Why does God hate me?
Because I'm a gay minority who fights for women's rights.
Jesus is great because Jesus is good. Amen.
What's the difference between a priest and a zit?
A: One waits until you're twelve to cum on your face.
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
What's God's favorite Michael Jackson song? The Earth Song. 😍😍😍
Memes
Ignore line & ovals
Ever wonder why pride month is so hot?
It's just a free trial of what's to come for the celebrators...
God said, "Let there be light," and it was lit!
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?
An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.
It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely... So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.
Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.
I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.
Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?
Orphan: *Sobs* "No."
God, I love working at an orphanage!
Yo mama so black, when God saw her, he said, "Let there be light!" but twice.
Why is "T" well-respected, but more in its lowercase form?
It crossed the line with Jesus.
God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.
What do you call an unemployed Rastafarian?
Jah Bless.
A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.
After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.
And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"
God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"
If you believe in Allah, you will go straight to heaven, Mashallah! 😍
How do you make holy water?
You take it to church ⛪️