Religion jokes
Why is "T" well-respected, but more in its lowercase form?
It crossed the line with Jesus.
A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.
After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.
And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"
God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"
What do you call an unemployed Rastafarian?
Jah Bless.
It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely... So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.
Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?
Orphan: *Sobs* "No."
God, I love working at an orphanage!
Memes
Nacho Jesus
Yo mama so black, when God saw her, he said, "Let there be light!" but twice.
Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.
I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.
If you believe in Allah, you will go straight to heaven, Mashallah! 😍
Stephen Hawking only went to hell because he couldn't get up the stairway to heaven.
God said, "Let there be light," and it was lit!
How do you make holy water?
You take it to church ⛪️
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?
They were both killed by Romans.
"F***, Jesus ate his stinky ass."
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
What’s the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits till you’re 13 to come on your face.
Jesus got rejected. A few years later he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.
Get off this site and go have some sex, you fucking virgins.
This isn't a joke.
There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!
What was Jesus's favorite food?
Answer: Snails