Religion jokes
Why don't skeletons play music at the church?
Because they don't have any organs.
The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.
What did the pizzas say to the pizza maker?
CHEESE-US!
Q: What do you call a religious Wookie?
A: Jewbacca.
What do you call the nun that hates?
For Paul Walker, Mother Teresa.
Do y'all love God?
Science gets you to the moon.
Religion flies you into buildings.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
Conversation between a little baby and a lady👇
👱LADY: Hi. 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: What is your name? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: How old are you? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: What is your mom's name? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: What about your dad? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: Can you spell your name? 💂LIT.BABY: (No reply) 👱LADY: Can you spell GOD? 💂LIT.BABY: (spelling) G.O.D
If a little baby can spell GOD, what about you? Just spend some minutes and type "GOD" if [you] know [that you] will sleep and wake up tomorrow by GOD's grace, ignore if you are living by power. MINE: GOD 😃
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
I have one policy, and that is to not make fun of black people.
Sorry, Jesus. You were white in the Bible pictures.
Jesus was a carpenter who got nailed to a piece of wood.
What's the difference between a priest and a rapist?
What does a priest and a male homosexual have in common?
They both like to suck a big cock inside the men's locker room at the gym.
If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.
Did you fall from Heaven? Because so did Satan.
Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?
Friend: Why?
Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Why did Saturn have rings?
Because God liked it so he put a ring on it.
How can you tell if a white homophobic heterosexual man with bisexual tendencies is a Christian nationalist?
He gives anonymous blowjobs to men regardless of their sexual orientation.
Why did the sun go to church?
Because it needs Jesus.