Religion jokes
What would you throw between a priest and a nun? A bottle of whiskey.
Who's better, Hitler or Jesus?
Hitler: Jesus made bread for 1000 whereas Hitler made meat for 10,000. 😅😅😅😅 (no offense)
(To circumcised people)
Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
What do u call a Muslim praying: Allahu akbar.
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.
Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture, unfortunately.
No one:
Nothing:
Not a single f***ing soul:
Spanish Empire: DING DONG YOUR RELIGION IS WRONG!
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
Blud is so old he pre-ordered the Torah.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You can hang the picture with just one nail.
People on 1912: This ship is unsinkable, even God himself couldn’t destroy it.
God: Ok, bet, where’s my icebergs?
Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.