What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
Religion Jokes
When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"
Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?
A: He got nailed first.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.
What do you call a Christian Asian?
Hao Li.
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.
A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.
What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?
Fatherless.
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
Why do orphans like to go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
What's the slogan for a Muslim gym?
Might in dynamite.
When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?
Father Les.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
The Virgin Mobile.
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
Where do terrorists go for a drink?
At the Allahu-ak Bar.
HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.
