Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?
Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
One day, the Pope is coming to America in his limo, and he said to the driver, "Why don’t you let me drive for once?"
The driver thinks to himself, "Well, I can’t say no to this guy; he’s the Pope." So the driver pulls over, and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while, the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "Slow down a bit; you might get pulled over."
The Pope says, "Ahhh, don’t worry about it; I’m the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments, he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car, and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"
The Pope says, "Sure." The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "Guys, I just pulled over someone really important."
They ask who, "The President?"
"No, more important."
"The president of another country?"
"No, more important."
"An ambassador?"
"No, even more important."
"Well, who is it?"
"I don’t know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."
We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.
Jesus was drinking when he made you.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
What do you call the nun that hates?
For Paul Walker, Mother Teresa.
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
What do you call a Muslim bee?
Habibee.
Your mama is so old, she made a book bigger than the Bible about her life.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
Yo mama so old, she pre-ordered the Bible.
Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
