Religion jokes
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
What do you call a Muslim in a swimming pool? A bath bomb.
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.
What God do rats worship?
Cheesus.
Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!
What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?
God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?