Religion jokes
I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.
What God do rats worship?
Cheesus.
Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!
What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?
God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
Why would a protestant refuse to become a catholic?
Because a protestant is not a homosexual sodomite.
What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck her hahaha 🤣
What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?
An AK-BAR 47.