Religion jokes
Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
Me: uses the crucifix.
Rush: Ahahahahahahæanananana!
What's your religion?
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
(Yes, I know God created the rainbow, not Jesus.)
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
People in 1 Ad: I bet we will have the best technology ever in 2023.
2023: GO BACK NOW! THERE'S 50 THOUSAND GENDERS, DUMB GEN Z, TIK TOK, WE NEED JESUS!
"Pray to God her inside her head. I'm scared of God."
What do you call a priest who became a singer?
Michael Jackson.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
My name is Jamar and I come from afar, ALLAHU AKBAR!
Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?
Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.
Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3
What's the definition of suspicious?...
A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field. 💀
Yo mama so old her Bible was autographed by Jesus.
Chuck Norris met God once. Now God is the puny human.