Relationship jokes
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not your.
Not your who?
Not your mama!
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
What do you call useless skin on a penis?
A man.
She's a 10, but she doesn't like sex.
When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.
FUCKING MENT
Your name is baller cuz ur in my mom's baller.
The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.
I ear ass your dad's ass and he likes it.
I once cummed on my boyfriend's dick. { puts an eggplant emoji }
I like to watch porn too ;)
If you hit 9999 orphans and they all tell each other, are the other orphans their parents???
William Spiser is SOOOOOOO gay and likes MEN!
Why did your parents abandon you?
Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."
"Me lava you sooo much, cutie cake. I know I'm so so so cuteee. Lava you girl... ummmma ummmaaa. I know where you liveee kutty."
Oh, Mom, there is poop in the toilet still.
Mom: Oh, that was me and the dog.
Me: Wait, what????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Conor MacGregor to Poirier: "Your wife is your husband!"
(After the fight, or should I say after the fracture.)
Poirier: Really, bitch?
Women are like marshmallows because they're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.
Fine, then if I can't do Gwen, then I guess it is Tenya and Kenya. #Twin sisters! Tenya and Kenya!
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
*guitar solo*
My mom is actually a mum! 😱
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.