Relationship jokes
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not your.
Not your who?
Not your mama!
I ear ass your dad's ass and he likes it.
William Spiser is SOOOOOOO gay and likes MEN!
I once cummed on my boyfriend's dick. { puts an eggplant emoji }
I like to watch porn too ;)
If you hit 9999 orphans and they all tell each other, are the other orphans their parents???
Why did your parents abandon you?
Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."
"Me lava you sooo much, cutie cake. I know I'm so so so cuteee. Lava you girl... ummmma ummmaaa. I know where you liveee kutty."
Why did the boy kill his girlfriend?
Because he had a crush on her.
My ex's love for me :(
I still love the dude sadly, but I won't take him back.
My bro said food was cool. So I threw a piece of cool chicken at him. For some reason, he hit me, OOF.
An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.
"I will see her in one week!"
A week later, he died.
She's a 10, but she doesn't like sex.
When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.
FUCKING MENT
Oh, Mom, there is poop in the toilet still.
Mom: Oh, that was me and the dog.
Me: Wait, what????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Conor MacGregor to Poirier: "Your wife is your husband!"
(After the fight, or should I say after the fracture.)
Poirier: Really, bitch?
My mom is actually a mum! 😱
Women are like marshmallows because they're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was.