Relationship jokes

Your mom.

Did you know that...the only reason you don't call priests "daddy" is because that's what you call them in sex!

Your mommy.

Ya mums, ya dad.

Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.

A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.

When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.

The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.

What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises, and has a broken jaw?

"Will you listen now?!??"

When your husband can’t afford a punching bag, he uses his wife.

When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.

FUCKING MENT

She's a 10, but she doesn't like sex.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Not your.

Not your who?

Not your mama!

William Spiser is SOOOOOOO gay and likes MEN!

"Me lava you sooo much, cutie cake. I know I'm so so so cuteee. Lava you girl... ummmma ummmaaa. I know where you liveee kutty."

Why did your parents abandon you?

Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."

If you hit 9999 orphans and they all tell each other, are the other orphans their parents???

I once cummed on my boyfriend's dick. { puts an eggplant emoji }

I like to watch porn too ;)

Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"

I ear ass your dad's ass and he likes it.

The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.

Boy, if you don't get your "I'm Burger King with my Burger Queen!"

Your name is baller cuz ur in my mom's baller.