Relationship jokes

When my friend says I suck at something, I'm like, "U swallow."

Ur mom, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I have no friends :'(

Every like this gets, I will kill a telemarketer.

Every dislike, I will kill a cute puppy.

Every comment, I will kill your ex bf or gf and send you a PS5.

Why don't orphans call...

Because they can't call home.

My dick's so big, I stuck it in your mom's loose hole.

Why does my brother have no mom?

Why is Viagra just like Disneyland?

It's a 1 hour wait for a 5 minute ride.

Why can't orphans have family time?

They don't have a family.

Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.

Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was pegged.

Wanna hear a joke? Your dad leaving you, you sad clown!

Best way to kiss someone is to lick inside their mouth with your tongue a lot of times, and they will really like it, especially me!! - lizard kiss+ french kiss= SloBbY Kiss.

Thanks for learning and getting advice.

Also, don't be such a horny one!

My and my penis never truly understood the words "Booby traps" until we met the ex-wife. God's gift of self-will was working fine until my penis went hard and my mind went blank, and God started laughing, and I swear I heard him say, "Booby trap" as he walked away! True story.

Friend, your mum's fat.

Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.

So this guy we talked to wanted me to leave forever, and we said, "What? You never want to hear from me again?"

Why did Morgan’s dad leave her?

She kept making dad jokes.

Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.

If you're bored, hump Danny and fuck him. What is he, goons do fuck rock?

It’s like I always tell my kids:

"Two in the pink, one in the stink."

It’s nice hitting it from the back when my wife has wide hips.

Her butt cheeks look like big huge ball sacks as my thighs smack up against them when I’m thrusting. I like to finish off by grinding my weiner up and down her back like a gay man frotting his schlong on his partner’s ding dong.

FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.

So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...